Youth Award — Didn't Mean To by Naomi McClarty (16)
About the author...
Naomi McClarty is an aspiring writer and poet whom comes from a large family. She has six siblings and more cousins then she can count, most of whom are younger, as a consequence of this she turned to books and writing at an early age to express herself and never looked back.
Didn't Mean To by Naomi McClarty
Didn’t mean to kill him really I didn’t,
It’s hard to think when you’re livid,
Didn’t mean to grab the knife off his desk,
Not that I ever feared arrest,
Didn’t mean to plunge it into his chest,
Gasping, screaming, bloody mess,
Didn’t mean to cover it up so well,
Months upon months no one could tell,
Didn’t mean to run so far,
Chased by imaginary demons into a car,
Didn’t mean to shoot her dead,
Couldn’t get the voices out so I fled,
Didn’t mean to give it all away,
Speeding down a freeway,
Didn’t mean to change my mind,
Handcuffs, zip ties just because somebody died,
Didn’t mean to get so mad,
Jail cells, swearing, slamming, vengeful lad,
Didn’t mean to seduce the cop,
Sinful, kissing, I’m on top,
Didn’t mean to make her cry,
She should have realised she had to die,
Didn’t mean to take so long,
Blaring alarms too late I’m gone
Didn’t mean to go back home,
Mother and father left I’m alone,
Didn’t mean to see her there,
The wife of the one I had murdered without care,
Didn’t mean to drop to my knees,
Begging, pleading at her feet,
Didn’t mean to tell her of the fight,
Disgusting, cheating, I was right
Didn’t mean to go there that night,
So angry at the sight,
Didn’t mean to tell her now she’s upset,
Knew she’d overact now there is a knife at my neck,
Didn’t mean to lie but the minute I saw her I knew I might die,
The knife is gone now she’s sitting in shock,
Didn’t mean to leave her on that block,
Never to trust again an unopened lock,
Didn’t mean to do it really I didn’t,
Happened regardless I suppose,
Didn’t mean to get addicted to the feeling,
Adrenaline, pumping, power, tyrannically jeering,
Didn’t mean to pose,
A criminal mastermind pretending to be sane,
The ultimate feeling of power comes as I slice through my veins.
It’s hard to think when you’re livid,
Didn’t mean to grab the knife off his desk,
Not that I ever feared arrest,
Didn’t mean to plunge it into his chest,
Gasping, screaming, bloody mess,
Didn’t mean to cover it up so well,
Months upon months no one could tell,
Didn’t mean to run so far,
Chased by imaginary demons into a car,
Didn’t mean to shoot her dead,
Couldn’t get the voices out so I fled,
Didn’t mean to give it all away,
Speeding down a freeway,
Didn’t mean to change my mind,
Handcuffs, zip ties just because somebody died,
Didn’t mean to get so mad,
Jail cells, swearing, slamming, vengeful lad,
Didn’t mean to seduce the cop,
Sinful, kissing, I’m on top,
Didn’t mean to make her cry,
She should have realised she had to die,
Didn’t mean to take so long,
Blaring alarms too late I’m gone
Didn’t mean to go back home,
Mother and father left I’m alone,
Didn’t mean to see her there,
The wife of the one I had murdered without care,
Didn’t mean to drop to my knees,
Begging, pleading at her feet,
Didn’t mean to tell her of the fight,
Disgusting, cheating, I was right
Didn’t mean to go there that night,
So angry at the sight,
Didn’t mean to tell her now she’s upset,
Knew she’d overact now there is a knife at my neck,
Didn’t mean to lie but the minute I saw her I knew I might die,
The knife is gone now she’s sitting in shock,
Didn’t mean to leave her on that block,
Never to trust again an unopened lock,
Didn’t mean to do it really I didn’t,
Happened regardless I suppose,
Didn’t mean to get addicted to the feeling,
Adrenaline, pumping, power, tyrannically jeering,
Didn’t mean to pose,
A criminal mastermind pretending to be sane,
The ultimate feeling of power comes as I slice through my veins.